I was accused of being zen recently. It was a compliment that I took a bit odd and a tad funny. I suppose it's because I'm fairly calm most of the time and pretty much at peace with whatever happens. Like everyone I have my moments though and come that time of the month I succumb to hormones just as much as any other woman. There have also been a couple of people that always seem to rocket my emotions into hyperdrive, taking me into a frenzy of torrential proportions that is both exciting and scary.... but that's for another day.
I'm talking now about being Zen. Which, like a lot of things in life worth having, seems at times a constant struggle. I'm glad that I learned a few hard lessons early in life. I learned that comparing myself to other people only brought about misery, even comparing myself favorably. Because I could guarantee that each person has one if not various qualities that outshine me in some way. So, what's the point? We all have our own melodrama's to live out. I have to be at peace with what I've been handed, good or bad. Otherwise, I'm bound to suffer even more than necessary.
Last week as I walked the dog, every being I encountered, I said "hi me" to them, in my mind. As in... you and I are linked in this life in ways we can not even begin to comprehend and I was acknowledging that they are just parts of myself outside of my body. Therefore, they are me and I am them and it was very comforting. I didn't feel scared, put off, uncomfortable, or anything of the sort. I accepted any behavior I received as a bit of a scene from a play. You are you, playing the part you think you should be playing and I am me playing the part I play and here we are interacting and/or avoiding each other and this is how it's meant to play out and what else is there but to live it out.
I don't see many people I feel worthy of emulation in this life. I don't see any role models to look up to or strive to learn from. Everyone I see is just like me: flawed, fallible, subject to weakness of spirit, prey to our vices, succumbing to our desires, petty at times, concerned with things that are of no real significance, with twinges (some great, some small) of hatred for something, someone, some group and/or some ideal. But since I do go by the belief that everyone can teach me something, I try to learn what I can from as many people as I can. I go by what resonates with me, what pulls at my heart, what makes me feel at peace and centered. What else is there I guess. I am content. (today)
