Love for the devil?

I had a dream last night that the family and I went through what we thought was a very sever earthquake. When we tried to vacate the building we were in, we saw that what was happening was in fact an invasion. Creatures that looked a little similar to corny movie zombies were enslaving the human survivors. I got separated from the family while trying to find a place to hide and got taken in by one male figure. He was strong, but not in a physical sense. He wanted and had complete power over me in every sense. He had me with him through several scenes and while I did not enjoy being his slave and what he made me to do and while I at every turn tried to escape I loved him. I also knew, he was the devil himself. I did not love him because of his power, or his "status" and most definitely not for the torture he put upon me. Yet, knowing him, seeing through to his true self, I found love for him.

At one point when we were running in the chaos, I confronted him and told him that I knew exactly who he was, even as he wore what he thought was a suitable disguise. This angered him greatly, yet also brought an almost imperceptible sly smile to his face. I also began to willingly do what he wanted. He had welded with his fingertips my mouth shut and had put a drop from this small apparatus into one ear to make it deaf. I then grabbed the apparatus and put a drop into my second ear, to the amazement of those being enslaved around me. This had been his punishment to me for a failed attempt to escape. Yet, through it all, I found love for him. True love; and it was this love that was getting me through the ordeal. Letting me not suffer it so greatly. Letting me, not so much enjoy it, but bear the weight of it, and see through to who the devil really was.

It's just a dream. I'm sure it's based on this whole "end of the world" Mayan thing going on in my subconscious. It's a little laughable to me. I only wish I knew if it was actually true. I'd pull the girls from school and start traveling the world. Taking in its beauty and mystery and enjoying the magic of the many cultures it holds.

This dream reminded me of my week stay at the Buddhist Monastery. At the end of the week we sat down with the head monk in a group session and discussed what we came away with. I had come away with the thought that we are caught between good and evil, and that we have enough love in us to bear that burden and come through the journey. Yet the head monk insisted that that was not correct, that we must turn our backs to the entity of hate and turn only to the entity of love. That we should not give love or attention to it, that it will suck every bit of anything we give to it. That is it to be shut out, completely. Yet, that seems a little off to me.

I believe, based on my own personal experiences with life, from what I have read, seen and learned, each of us has chosen to be here. We come from God/heaven, the one I discussed previously, to experience "life" and to play. We do not know or understand exactly how hard the journey is or the peril we place our souls in. We come and we are given the privilege and curse of choice. Our collective memory erases so that we may indeed be able to play and see ourselves as separate entities. Fortunately God is with us, just as in the footprints poem, but the devil is there as well, every single step. It quite laughably reminds me (very loosely) on the battle between King Triton and Ursula in the Disney movie "Ariel". That we are pawns in the battle of God vs Evil is not what God intended or wants for us, but I firmly believe that this is the case. In fact, I think that God does not want us to leave at all, which is why God takes some of us so early on, or takes the "good" ones. We are taken back before we have a chance to be corrupted and taken another way. Why some of us are taken back home and others of us are left to fight our individual battles of good versus evil, I do not know. I do know that it is our free will and understanding that makes this situation possible. I also think that the battle is never to be won on earth. That good and evil being energies are the ying and yang of each other and while they are in constant flux, remain always in balance, perhaps not in our individual lives, but as a whole in our universe.

I will definitely not be so bold as to say that taken to Hell I will have enough love to fight against the Devil, because God has no reign in Hell. But here on earth I do believe, that with the help of God at my side, I have everything I need to combat the Devil in this life, save my soul for its return to heaven and live a life of peace and joy. That it is a never-ending battle is just a absolute given. But with love, I truly believe....all things are possible.

So much more is possible then we may ever be able to grasp. There is so much more to living than we have even begun to see. We can take this experience into so many different avenues. If we could stop living the life of illusion outside of ourselves and live the life from within our hearts and souls. I'm not saying evil would be eradicated, but maybe we could then escape this "karmic wheel". Maybe we could live out the life that we each thought we were coming here to live.

Running with a dolphin

Today we went for a bike ride and I told my daughter about the time I ran with a dolphin. It's a cute and memorable story that gave me a lot of joy and peace and I thought I'd share it here today.

It was about 13 years ago, back in my single, footloose days, when I had the time and energy to exercise two times a day. Part of my exercise routine would be to run about 4-6 days a week, for 2-4 miles a day, sometimes more. This one particular day was a typically beautiful California day and I was running along the bike path that stretched alongside the beach. I was about 3/4 of a mile from my house when I looked out to the ocean and spotted the dolphin. I had never seen a dolphin at this beach. For one, the jetty almost completely encapsulates this strand of beach and the oil rigs in its center don't add to the water quality. But there it was, jumping in and out of the water right along side of me. Between the sand and water we were probably at least 50 feet away from each other. Yet, it seemed to unmistakably be keeping pace with me. There was no one in front or behind me that I could see, and only a couple people passed in the opposite direction.

As I jogged not extremely fast, it kept constant and exact pace with me jumping at frequent and steady intervals. And we ran this way for the remainder of my jog home. I stopped as I headed up the stairs to see it off, but the water must have become too shallow at that end of the beach, because after I stopped I didn't see it any longer. Part of me hopes that when I start jogging I can see it again. I've taken several walks along the bike path since we've moved back, but part of me thinks it's not until I start jogging again that I may, if ever, have the chance to see my running partner again.