Two fish

About 15 years ago I found myself camping with friends in Mammoth. On our last day there we decided to rent a boat and take it out on one of the smaller lakes with the intention of fishing. I eat fish, but I do not enjoy the process of catching them. In the same way that I enjoy flowers, but don't like watching them die sitting in a vase.

It was a pleasant morning, but as the hours rolled on it started getting cooler and late for us to make the long drive back. However, the single fisher was adamant that fish needed to be caught before we could leave. No one wanted to be disagreeable and more time rolled on.

I asked the fisher what was going to happen with the fish. He assured me they would get eaten. So as I was getting a bit frustrated and cold, I laid back in the boat, closed my eyes, summoned up my energy, and asked the fish to please acquiesce. Within less than 5 minutes a fish was snared. I thought we would be on our way, but then the fisherman decided 2 fish were needed for a good meal, since the fish caught was on the smaller side.

Not particularly in agreement, but wanting to simply end the ordeal, I sat back once again and asked the fish to please comply and again within a few minutes he had another fish. He tried going for a third, but this I would not agree to. I did nothing and after about 30 futile minutes more he submitted to just having gotten two and we left.

I later inquired as to whether he has eaten the fish and was sickened to my stomach that he had not. As silly as it sounds... I had promised the fish they would be eaten and I still to this day feel bad about it.

Now I can not prove that it was my thoughts that made it happen, but I'm satisfied knowing in my heart what happened.

If me, simple little me, could do something like that, I can just imagine how Jesus could indeed command a whole school of fish to come forth, and how the fish probably did so gladly. I have a deep admiration for fish since this time. Unfortunately I still also enjoy eating them. It's the crux of my life. My actions don't always match my ideals. But that's another story.

Turning my back to it

I think I've mentioned that when I went to the Buddhist retreat I was told to turn my back to evil. At first I thought that seemed ridiculous, but now that I've had time to process it a bit more, I think that that is good advice.

I only have this one life to live. I don't exactly know what's coming up next or if I will be back so this is it. Do I chose to let hatred, violence, fear, etc. ruin my life? Do I chose to let the bad of the world bring me down?

No! I chose to turn my back to it. I will not watch the news. I will not listen to mindless gossip. I will not pay attention to anything negative. If that means I have to live a life in a state of oblivion; if that means I have to live in a state of mild ignorance....so be it.

I prefer to live this one life I have happily. Meanwhile, I will do every thing I can to alleviate other people's burdens. I will do all I can to contribute in a positive way to the world, my world, my daily existence.

But as of this moment forward I turn my back to all that is negative in the world. I chose, mindfully, to ignore it... to leave it be, unless of course I can actively make it better.

Life, moment by moment, will direct me where to go, how to help, what to do. I refuse to live a fear based life any longer. This is my one and only shot at this thing...as far as I know, for all I know. I'm going to make the absolute best of it. I'm going to give it my very best. So why concentrate on anything other than the best and most positive in life? Nope. Not gonna. Just not gonna.