Smokes two joints int he morning

Ok. no seriously

I'm not that bad.

I smoke like 3-4 hits 2-4 times a week.  That's like the equivalent of 1 glass of wine.  Even breastfeeding I'd be allowed that.

It relaxes me.  It makes me feel good.

It helps me get through the shitty parts in life
because trust me
that there are many
at least in my life there are

Maybe it's addictive like alcohol is too.  Maybe I will increase my dosage the more I take, like building up your tolerance to alcohol.

But for now I'll keep on keeping on,
because it's the only thing letting me keep on

and no I'm not suicidal.

I mean it just is the only thing that constantly
makes me feel good

not that everything makes me feel bad
don't put words in my mouth
they don't always have it right
you know

Conundrums

It's funny

To live

Completely separate realities

At the exact same time

To have two or more 

Things that ring absolutely true

Which are completely juxtaposed

And damn

If it doesn't make life

Ever the bit more confusing