Emotional

It's hard not to come of as wishy-washy

When on eis an emotional person

Your thoughts just run away with you

Add in a bit of naïveté

And you have a sail that is lose to be sea sometimes

Which as all sailors know is not the place to be in a storm

Today (as in this timeframe of my life) it's a divorce

Tomorrow it could be something overwhelmingly Devine and brilliant

Life is a spectacle to behold

Good or bad

It's all a wonder to me

I can feel the tug of both sides

The allure of the fight

But when I just follow my heart

I don't feel that tug

So harshly

To do something opposed to myself

To my morals

To what I believe in

To truths I hold close to my heart

Like a fight for liberty

For justice

For the persuit of happiness

You promised it to me

You blasphemous document

As a citizen of your country

And now that the veil has been lifted for everyone else to see

You see

The government maybe at one time wasn't funded enough to go after its own citizens

With military grade equipment

But it is now.

Does that seem necessary to you?

Isn't that what a negotiator is suppose to do?

Diffuse a situation so no crime or violence occurs

Maybe we need more every day negotiators

Not just at bank robberies

As they probably pay extra for

Or have the negotiators started believing the conspiracy theories too

Siding with the robbers one too many times.

I don't know.

That's a funny thought though.

False as it may be. Lol

Like I'm hearing my voice again for the first time

It's got to be the writing

The honing of a skill (I think)

As in just the sheer repetition and learning from mistakes along the way.

The thing about writing in this journal type blog

Is that I'm growing

Ever expanding in all directions

Capable of changing my opinions

The lesser ones to the greater ones

My beliefs

My core system

Is ever changing

As my world expands

As my heart expands

So my life expands

My love

In directions completely unforeseen

And some days

Are some way

And some are another

It's not always the same

At the end of the day though.

The outcome

Has to be peace of mind

For myself

That I did my best

And that I can live with that

Seeking forgiveness where I think it maybe needed

And as importantly with myself

And forgo any accolades in place of actual accomplishments

Towards the good of humanity

Above the good of oneself

Or ones brood

That God is with me in ways big and small

And that I can give it to Thim

Is it too blasphemous for most people or have I named God already and just forgotten. Lol