Who wants to be Mother Fucking Teresa

She was a beautiful person

Wasn't she?

But she was human (gasp....I know: huh)

So she had her faults

Which maybe weren't faults

After all

Maybe they just made her who she was

And yet she gets shared and shredded as much as venerated (less  doesn't seem viable)

Who would want that

To impact the earth in a positive way

Sure

But even she didn't understand the hate in it all

Even she didn't understand the obstacles people face in their own hells

Or maybe she did

A person at a time

And that's all I want as well

Doesn't everyone truly

It's just to live my own little slice

of living my own life

A person at a time (even if only by a passing unglancing stride; thank you Cheri Huber).

A moment at a time

Save with children (young and old)

They don't understand of these things quite always so well

It can be endearing when you let it be

I suppose*

I guess it may be the insolence and selfishness I don't like

It comes very naturally for children to be kind

It is still very close to the surface

Truly their default setting

If adults just had the courage to go from trial run to ON**

and I'm it society didn't model AND reward selfish behavior maybe children wouldn't pick it up. They learn by human and media (social) example. What are we as individuals and a whole exemplifying. What is our media exemplifying. Do we not really have a choice?  If it's all owned by practically the same handful of rich people/corporations then how is it not being bought and sold "for our pleasure"......laughable. Just sometimes I'm not sure who I'm laughing at anymore. I'm just as much a part of this "shit show" as everyone else and here's where I do want to be Mother Teresa. Lol. Uhh. Yea. Like I have that kind of time or patience***. Could I find the patience?  Ugghhhhh




*maybe ask me that another day when I'm not flanked by a sick one, a potty-training (first days) one and in ultra hormonal one.  Auuggghhhhh).

**think like a child's toy that needs to go from "try me" to on. To its full version, not just the here and there one.  Sure maybe the batteries wear out quicker; but you have the fastest recharger of them all; God!

*** the only times I've experienced nirvana, fleeting as it may be. We're in states of unending patience, deep love, or blind excitement. I'm sure there are many more ways; drugs even for this experience quite unfortunately (except pot I believe). Pot is quite good for you. Not me smoked but me injesting has cured me of so many aches and pains; both actually verifiably physical (migraines and joint issues) and spiritually/psychologically (I'm not saying this world this way for everyone. The pain yes. I can attest to those benefits as can millions others, but the spiritual and psychological benefits I think are only starting to be understood or accepted medically).

Life

This life

This grand illusion

May appear real to you

It has all the bells and whistles to prove itself so

Or so one wants to believe

And so be it

It helps perpetuate the falcity

Sometimes it's fun

Sometimes it's beautiful

Sometimes it's magical beyond belief

But at the end of the day

Your day

All it is

Is the illusion of one soul upon the earth

Perpetuated for or against another soul

Walking a separate yet intrinsically intertwined

Journey of its own

To see if at the end of it all

We all individually get to go (to our collective) home (Heaven)

Are damned to hell

Or get to come back here

Living or dead

That's it

I wish it WERE

More complicated than that

But if you look

To what depths our universe exists

Inside and outside

It is quite mesmerizing really

And so the grand illusion can be one heck of a ride really

Almost any way you slice it