Nothing

We own absolutely nothing in this life

NOTHING

Except for one thing

for our own reactions

We don't own these humanoid cells

We walk around in

Except as they are given to us

Except for how well we treat them

And they are treated by the universe

But we alone

Have the power or our intentions

The power of our actions

Let those be positive

************

That's all I'm trying to say here.

Is there a light on anywhere?

*****

This reminds me of reoccurring a dream I have

Even now

Although I had it very much more often as a child

It was that I was in a house

Familiar usually

And it was dark

Sometimes coming or going out of a room

Sometimes not

And I go to turn on the light

And nothing

I try another light and noThing

And it is pitch dark

I can sometimes very marginally

See the shadows of objects

Not sure if from memory

Actually seeing it

Or it just being in my minds eyes

But not clear enough to keep the fear at bay

And I go into a panic mode

Trying to find light

And I don't have a clear expectation

Of evil

Or harm

Just this overwhelming sense of dread and fear

Suffocating me

Keeping me from thinking clearly

Speeding up my body

Burning my adrenals

The fear overtakes me completely

To worry, fear and anxiety

Thank you

For trying to protect me

For trying to play Devil's advocate

And open my eyes to other possibilities

I get it

I get all the angles of why you exist

Why I "need" you

The fight or flight thing

Animal traits

Ancestral necessities maybe

Who knows

It can be seen a million ways

My point is

I don't want you in my life right now

Yes you existed in the past

And you may exist in the future again

But I want the right now

The happening this second of reality moments of my life

To no longer be fueled by you

I don't want you ruling my world anymore

Running my life

So. From this point forward

If I call on you

Please come

But until that time comes

Until further notice

Please refrain from participating in the game

You're being side lined

You can watch

Or go do something else

I'll keep you on stand by if you so desire

But for now you're totally out

Go suit down

See if you can change that energy into something positive

Like zeal

Joie de vivre

If you can

If not just walk away

Now please

***************

To be repeated as needed until the need no longer exists

I'm hoping just this once. Lol

Because why not

Life holds many miracles

When you let it

More than you can even imagine