Goodbye old friend

recently

I've been shedding friends

At a bit of a faster clip than I've been making them

But

The friends I've been making are more in line with my ideological views

And even more importantly 

My spiritual views

And the ones I am shedding seem to be fringed with anger,

Bitterness and even....dare I say....without sounding full of myself....

a wee bit of jealousy 

Which quite honestly

Is not an emotion I comprehend that well

(Unless it's associated with a man perhaps; which seems different.  Albeit still petty perhaps.)

As far as I see it

We all have our pluses and minuses in life

No one escapes suffering

Be it by outside factors

Or ones inside ourselves (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc)

And even  "easy street"  is lined with pitfalls

(Not that I'd know from experience; mind you)

I don't have it all figured out

I struggle daily 

To be better

To be at peace

To be the best me; mom, friend, neighbor, citizen, human I can be

I try to bring hope 

Compassion 

Laughter

Understanding 

Acceptance

And most especially a good attitude

With me everywhere I go

With every encounter I make

Every chance I am given

Does it always manifest that way

Um...no

I fail abysmally sometimes

But I keep trying

I offer myself forgiveness

Which I also ask of God

And others when I feel I have injured them

I try to demonstrate gratitude 

And give thanks to all those who offer me assistance; paid or not

Although not quite as often as I should I realize

And again also to God

And I try

Very, very hard sometimes to have acceptance

For whatever comes

That for reasons I may never comprehend things happen the way they do

And I look for peace within myself for that

And I ask for peace from God

Do all these tactics work?

Mostly

Which just reinforces them and solidifies them more

Could something one day break that?

Maybe. Who knows?  I'm not there yet. 

So for all the friends I've lost 

I bid ye farewell

I bode you no ill will

I would take no bit of happiness away from you or anyone else

I hope one day you can feel that same peace

And so

Please don't envy me

Don't paint my life into some fictional perfect mirage

And don't wish yourself to have anything I have

Along with my pluses come minuses as well. 

You be you

And let me be please

Take me out of your covetous psyche 

And discard me completely if you must 

If that's how it need be

I let things go as they go

And come as they come

Or at least

That's how I'm trying to live

And you; we both seem to agree

Must now go

That was hateful

The truth is

People can do and say some pretty hateful things

Purposely

Not purposely

Does it even matter?

How does one respond?

Indignation

Resignation

Blaspheming

I can't say the right way

Everyone must decide for themselves

I know that it isn't going to change in my lifetime

If ever

There will be hatred

There will be vile words and deeds to endure

It seems to be inevitable

So what is there to do?

But let it be

I'm not saying condone

Accept pillaging and plundering

Accept pain and torture

If need be stand your ground (when your line in the sand has been crossed; I suppose)

But barring that

Maybe mostly

When there is no immediate harm

Tolerate

And think to yourself

That was hateful perhaps

But I don't have to succumb to it

I don't have to get mired in that same web

I don't have to subject myself to it

Or respond to it at all

I can call it out for what it is

Or simply walk away

Only Jesus suggests giving the other cheek; but

He must have had a huge tolerance for pain

And a gigantic heart to love

Even those we deem most unlovable

Even acts that go against our very nature of self preservation

Were that we could all be so divine

He was human

So it is quite possible

Isn't it?

Where does it start?

If not in the individual soul

If not in ones individual journey

It is a quest that must be reached one person at a time.