Sunday, August 27, 2017
Let's decelerate
"The Romantics warned this modern fixation on speed was a self-made “iron cage” that would lead to alienation, loss of meaning, and an unwillingness towards self-reflection. The remedy, they proposed, was deceleration." - Gulnaz Khan (National Geographic article about the longest train ride through India)
Saturday, August 26, 2017
God....I can be such a bitch.
Last night
A girlfriend and I went dancing.
It was so much fun.
We closed the place down
And I danced more than I have in at least a decade
(What can I say...im old. Lol)
It was great
I got drunk
(Which I hate doing
But does help me dance with abandon
So I made an exception)
It was all great and fun
Until I woke up and remembered
My moment of cruelty
As we were leaving and waiting for our ride
A black man stood on the corner with headphones on
Yelling in anger
About God knows what
And I just wasn't in the mood
He was directing it towards me (it seemed)
But not about me (I felt)
But I still just didn't want any part of it
So I said as loudly and strongly as I could
Which is not all that loud really
"I don't care"
And walked behind him and away
He spoke after me saying
"I don't care either"
And that was that
I can't begin to imagine life as a black man
Especially in this white-topia
But I do know what it is to hurt
To have life knock you down so hard you can't even imagine going on
To have all your dreams crushed
Your hope gone
Women express that typically in depression and men more so in wrath
But it is the same monster
The same desperation.
I know it well
It has been my bedfellow (before)
But I just wasn't in the mood
Had he come to me
Talked
Asked
Openly
I would have given him money
A hug
A bit of my time and attention
Why not?
Are we not here to share in the experience of this all
The glory and the pain
But when you come at me with hatred
Anger
Fear
There is no gateway to you there
And I refuse to even try
Perhaps that is my own issue at hand
And I chose to walk away
Forgive me God
For I was a bitch last night.
A girlfriend and I went dancing.
It was so much fun.
We closed the place down
And I danced more than I have in at least a decade
(What can I say...im old. Lol)
It was great
I got drunk
(Which I hate doing
But does help me dance with abandon
So I made an exception)
It was all great and fun
Until I woke up and remembered
My moment of cruelty
As we were leaving and waiting for our ride
A black man stood on the corner with headphones on
Yelling in anger
About God knows what
And I just wasn't in the mood
He was directing it towards me (it seemed)
But not about me (I felt)
But I still just didn't want any part of it
So I said as loudly and strongly as I could
Which is not all that loud really
"I don't care"
And walked behind him and away
He spoke after me saying
"I don't care either"
And that was that
I can't begin to imagine life as a black man
Especially in this white-topia
But I do know what it is to hurt
To have life knock you down so hard you can't even imagine going on
To have all your dreams crushed
Your hope gone
Women express that typically in depression and men more so in wrath
But it is the same monster
The same desperation.
I know it well
It has been my bedfellow (before)
But I just wasn't in the mood
Had he come to me
Talked
Asked
Openly
I would have given him money
A hug
A bit of my time and attention
Why not?
Are we not here to share in the experience of this all
The glory and the pain
But when you come at me with hatred
Anger
Fear
There is no gateway to you there
And I refuse to even try
Perhaps that is my own issue at hand
And I chose to walk away
Forgive me God
For I was a bitch last night.
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