Sometimes the world just weighs on me
The contrived rituals
The idiotic fallacies
The charades we play
And the characters we portray
It weighs so heavy on my heart
All the pretenses
The myriad of facades staring back at you
All around
Wherever you look
Even when you're just looking in the mirror
I wish we could all just be stripped back down
To our innocence
To our whole real beings
To our raw true selves
But that requires a level of truth
We are all so far removed from
In our daily lives
It would probably be like traveling to a completely foreign place all alone
With no knowledge of the language, customs or terrain
With no currency on hand to make your way with ease
And no one to guide you
Terrifying thought to most people
For good reason
What can you depend on?
When you can't depend on your defenses, manipulation, prestige, attributes and wealth
When the walls you've built that create who you are are no longer valid
Who are you when you strip it all away?
Can you even say?
Do you even know?
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
Broken Inside
there are so many people walking around this planet broken inside
And some if not most are so frayed that they simply can not function in society
I'm talking about people that have been hurt so drastically
And/or are so sensitive to the pains of the world
And suffer so intensely
As to become a harm to themselves and/or others
Some lash out by hurting others purposely
Some with anger/hatred
Some with a strong need to control people/things around them
Because of the deep lack of control they feel inside
Some have self destructive tendencies
And some simply self destruct
Society functions to almost foster this behavior
With its push for greed, anonymity and a comfort seeking, self-serving lifestyle
As communal animals who depend primarily on relationships for our happiness
And well being
Modern society allots very little time and energy towards deep, meaningful relationships
Yet without them we can not thrive
Or even subsist
Superficially perhaps
But not in a meaningful way
So when I look at myself in the mirror
And see the pain endured
I am grateful for the strength that has come up to almost equal measure to it
At almost every turn
I can't tell you exactly where it comes from
It's not that I have called upon God at every one of those turns
But it is a strength that while it does emanate from deep inside
Is so much more than me
(If that even makes sense)
It's like I draw it from a reservoir deep inside
That connects to an endless stream
And I don't even realize it's there until I need it
And it springs forth
When I've seemed to most need it
Not always
But mostly (thank God)
Can I say why this isn't for most
No. I wish I could.
Do I consider myself lucky or privileged?
No. I've never until now actually articulated it
And at this moment all I can feel is grateful
And sad.
Sad that others suffer so much
Have suffered
Are suffering
Are dying
Not so much in the sense that we all die
But in the sense that it literally kills
Kills their cells
Kills their heart
Kills their soul
We all have so much need
Of affection
Of kindness and compassion
Of understanding and love
And until society works in such a way to foster that
To build upon that
To help us lay the foundation of that for our entire lives
And support us
Help each other support each other
Then it seems many of us will keep dying
Fruitlessly
If not by our own hands
Or the hands of those fractured so much by unending pain
Then by the dispationate, inhumane systems society has us shackled to
The ones for which we are but nameless faceless cogs
To be churned through to maintain the status quo
Or benefit those in power
I really don't know why
I see the way it is
And the way it could be
And I don't quite understand how it's all gone so wrong
On a one by one basis
Most people are lovely
I can see the human struggle and the heart endeavoring
To be true
I'm not sure what it will take
Whatever it is though
I hope it starts with if not love
Compassion for one and all
And some if not most are so frayed that they simply can not function in society
I'm talking about people that have been hurt so drastically
And/or are so sensitive to the pains of the world
And suffer so intensely
As to become a harm to themselves and/or others
Some lash out by hurting others purposely
Some with anger/hatred
Some with a strong need to control people/things around them
Because of the deep lack of control they feel inside
Some have self destructive tendencies
And some simply self destruct
Society functions to almost foster this behavior
With its push for greed, anonymity and a comfort seeking, self-serving lifestyle
As communal animals who depend primarily on relationships for our happiness
And well being
Modern society allots very little time and energy towards deep, meaningful relationships
Yet without them we can not thrive
Or even subsist
Superficially perhaps
But not in a meaningful way
So when I look at myself in the mirror
And see the pain endured
I am grateful for the strength that has come up to almost equal measure to it
At almost every turn
I can't tell you exactly where it comes from
It's not that I have called upon God at every one of those turns
But it is a strength that while it does emanate from deep inside
Is so much more than me
(If that even makes sense)
It's like I draw it from a reservoir deep inside
That connects to an endless stream
And I don't even realize it's there until I need it
And it springs forth
When I've seemed to most need it
Not always
But mostly (thank God)
Can I say why this isn't for most
No. I wish I could.
Do I consider myself lucky or privileged?
No. I've never until now actually articulated it
And at this moment all I can feel is grateful
And sad.
Sad that others suffer so much
Have suffered
Are suffering
Are dying
Not so much in the sense that we all die
But in the sense that it literally kills
Kills their cells
Kills their heart
Kills their soul
We all have so much need
Of affection
Of kindness and compassion
Of understanding and love
And until society works in such a way to foster that
To build upon that
To help us lay the foundation of that for our entire lives
And support us
Help each other support each other
Then it seems many of us will keep dying
Fruitlessly
If not by our own hands
Or the hands of those fractured so much by unending pain
Then by the dispationate, inhumane systems society has us shackled to
The ones for which we are but nameless faceless cogs
To be churned through to maintain the status quo
Or benefit those in power
I really don't know why
I see the way it is
And the way it could be
And I don't quite understand how it's all gone so wrong
On a one by one basis
Most people are lovely
I can see the human struggle and the heart endeavoring
To be true
I'm not sure what it will take
Whatever it is though
I hope it starts with if not love
Compassion for one and all
Sunday, January 1, 2017
Welcome to your life
Close your eyes
Take 10 deep breaths
And Imagine the most tranquil place you can think of
Real or make believe
Picture yourself there
In vivid detail
Is it day or night
Are you inside or outside
Picture yourself seated comfortably
The temperature is perfect
You are neither hot or cold
In fact you feel completely At ease
Wanting of nothing
In your most perfect oasis
Here you are completely carefree
engulfed in deep sense of relaxation
Your body feels light
Your thoughts are calm and serene
You're eyes are soft
You have absolutely no problems
No worries
No stresses
No fears
No tension
No anger
No bitterness
No angst whatsoever
All the troubles of your life have melted away
Into this deep sense of peace
Into deep calm tranquility
Your body is completely lax
Your mind feels airy
Your thoughts are quiet
As you sit and just soak in the beauty/tranquility around you
You notice the figure of someone you deeply love
Coming into your view
They are slowly walking towards you
With a smile and a look of love
Meant only for you
And you instantly feel any rough edges of your heart soften and melt
As your beloved walks closer and closer to you
You can sense the love they feel for you
You can feel that deep connection
And it is intensely uplifting
Your heart beats to the tune of a beautiful melody only you can hear
Only you can feel
And you are overcome with a feeling
As close to divinity as you've ever felt before
A calm sense of joy
Of wonder
You know
You deeply truly know
Beyond a shadow of a doubt
That you are completely safe here
And you bask in the glory of that feeling
Reveling in how good it feels
To feel complete peace
And deep happiness
-------------------
Now open your eyes
And keep that feeling as long as you possibly can
Welcome to your life
It is not always an oasis
It is not always serene
It is not always full of people that love you completely and unconditionally
But that sense of serenity
Is something you can carry with you
Deep Inside yourself
No matter what your life looks like on the outside
You don't have to give that up
For anything or anyone
Keeping that deep sense of peace
Will help you navigate the hardships of life
Much better than any book, sage or scholarly advice will
Keeping that openness, that warmth, that serenity and true sense and feeling of love will help you live as close to heaven as absolutely possible on this earth
And that is worth more than every bit of gold and every treasure this earth has to offer combined tenfold over.
Living wide open, some would say vulnerable even or truly exposed, living with complete honesty, in complete acceptance and with a deep sense of peace, with no fear, no anger, no judgment or concerns is a true path to heaven.
So. Make of this life what you want. This life you lead is yours alone. No one can live it for you. So welcome to it. Welcome to it all.
(Note to self: Let everything reinforce your sense of peace. Try not to succumb to fear, anger, worry. Don't give in. You have but just this one life. Don't waste it.)
In the name of love & Gloria - U2
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