Broken Inside

there are so many people walking around this planet broken inside

And some if not most are so frayed that they simply can not function in society

I'm talking about people that have been hurt so drastically

And/or are so sensitive to the pains of the world

And suffer so intensely

As to become a harm to themselves and/or others

Some lash out by hurting others purposely

Some with anger/hatred

Some with a strong need to control people/things around them

Because of the deep lack of control they feel inside

Some have self destructive tendencies

And some simply self destruct

Society functions to almost foster this behavior

With its push for greed, anonymity and a comfort seeking, self-serving lifestyle

As communal animals who depend primarily on relationships for our happiness

And well being

Modern society allots very  little time and energy towards deep, meaningful relationships

Yet without them we can not thrive

Or even subsist

Superficially perhaps

But not in a meaningful way

So when I look at myself in the mirror

And see the pain endured

I am grateful for the strength that has come up to almost equal measure to it

At almost every turn

I can't tell you exactly where it comes from

It's not that I have called upon God at every one of those turns

But it is a strength that while it does emanate from deep inside

Is so much more than me

(If that even makes sense)

It's like I draw it from a reservoir deep inside

That connects to an endless stream

And I don't even realize it's there until I need it

And it springs forth

When I've seemed to most need it

Not always

But mostly (thank God)

Can I say why this isn't for most

No. I wish I could.

Do I consider myself lucky or privileged?  

No. I've never until now actually articulated it

And at this moment all I can feel is grateful

And sad.

Sad that others suffer so much

Have suffered

Are suffering

Are dying

Not so much in the sense that we all die

But in the sense that it literally kills

Kills their cells

Kills their heart

Kills their soul

We all have so much need

Of affection

Of kindness and compassion

Of understanding and love

And until society works in such a way to foster that

To build upon that

To help us lay the foundation of that for our entire lives

And support us

Help each other support each other

Then it seems many of us will keep dying

Fruitlessly

If not by our own hands

Or the hands of those fractured so much by unending pain

Then by the dispationate, inhumane systems society has us shackled to

The ones for which we are but nameless faceless cogs

To be churned through to maintain the status quo

Or benefit those in power

I really don't know why

I see the way it is

And the way it could be

And I don't quite understand how it's all gone so wrong

On a one by one basis

Most people are lovely

I can see the human struggle and the heart endeavoring

To be true

I'm not sure what it will take

Whatever it is though

I hope it starts with if not love

Compassion for one and all