Please believe me that

My word is everything

I can live with omission

It seems to have to be done

Sometimes for kindness

Sometimes from fear

Sometimes ambivalence (stress)

But if I say something

Then please believe

I've tried everything in my power to do it

Everything

I do really try

But

If I falter (or rather when)

If you could just please believe

It wasn't entirely my fault

That everyone and everything

(In my world)

Also had some skin in the game

And I can only do so much

Even Moses only parted the sea once (lol)

But that being said

I really am trying to not have my soul

Burn in hell

By following the usual protocol

And deceiving you is not one of them

So I want to try and lead my life 

In such a way that I do not have to deceive anyone 

Ever

Anymore

And my only wish

Is for everyone

Everywhere

To have 

To live

that kind of peace

In order to be me

What I need

I need support

I need permission

I need to know

You'll be there

To love the things I love

To take care of the things that I most treasure in life

I need to know that you've got my back

When the time comes

And I need you

Because you know what

I'll be there for you too

If you make it perfectly clear

With your heart

And your head*


*_^_^_^_^_*_*_

* no. Not really your head so to say

More your intuition. 

Because

To me it feels as if your head

Is the processing center for your heart

But that just isn't the case

It would be like putting a baby up
Against a diligent lawyer
In a room or court
Arguing who loves the strongest of the two
Or even who hates more
Because that baby hates being away from its mama
And why is that
Because the mama
Instinctually knows what the baby wants
Generally
Not because the mama is the mama
But because the mama
Pays attention
The mama listens
The mama feels what the baby wants
Call it female instinct
Call it more open about being emotional
Than men let themselves be
Not because they aren't
Because they are
But because they don't let themselves be

I'd love to have orgies in the streets
Real ones
Huge ones
Why not
Like a festival
But not necessarily a spectacle
(Like gay pride)
Like people genuinely loving one another

It's not suggested as a defamatory mark
Against gays
It's just saying that 
Somewhere
Somehow 
You lost your humanity 

Not some of you
Maybe not Even most of you
But when you lie
Cheat 
Hide your emotions 
From people
Nothing
Absolutely nothing good
Can come of it


That's why I've been lucky to know some fabulous and wonderful gay men
Unlike some other ones
That either pretend to be straight
Or even worse maybe 
Pretend to be idiots 

Because lord Jesus Christ
Please tell me that under those 
Beautiful bodies
And perfectly contoured faces and actions 
Is a soul, is a mind, and is a heart. 

The thing about gay men
Is that they want dick
Right
I get it
I've had it
It's fucking awesome
Um yea
Who wouldn't
Really
Let's stick to

Children 16 and under not allowed ever

And over 16 only with their expressed permission and desire

It's not my fault

You have to work

At getting them

Desirous. 

That's your cross to bear

Ask any peacock

I'm just telling you what works

In the female species 

As a norm 

But hey

I'm a firm believer in

There's someone out there for everyone

Even the guy who wanted someone to cut and eat his balls found someone. 

If that's not direct confirmation

I'm just not sure what would be

;)

________\\\\\\\\\\\_____________\\\\\\\\\\\\\\}_|_|

*Try getting anything other than raw emotion out of the situation