Mental illness

I have a mental illness in that I want to trust everyone

And I want to believe them

I want to offer them a hand or a hello or even just a look of encouragement

If only in appreciation for them being who they are

No one is perfect but

Everyone has something they can be appreciated for

So sometimes that has made me a victim in the past

But when I follow my heart

It never makes me a victim

It hasn't yet of course

It's only been when I let ego and fear take over

That bad seemed to always happen

If I  can stand firm

With your heart pulled out of your chest

Offering it up for the taking


In its complete brutal honesty

Then i* can say

It was worth it

Because when you live your life to that degree

Willing to do whatever your heart says is necessary

Then your living out your truth

And no one can take that away from you

So when you're heart says to go

No matter who you will hurt or why

You must go

That's how my marriage ended


*lower case i's shouod represent the entire of humanity and all living creatures and things. Anything that has energy to it. Or more pragmatically; all fellow humans only

Inside Joke

I so much quite often believe that my life is an inside joke that I don't know about

But I've stopped letting that depress or gloom me

Maybe  Hints are shielded from me right now for a reason

Maybe there is a greater cause I am unaware of

I have to give it to God

To find peace

That maybe I don't have all the puzzle pieces quite yet

But I hope and pray that what does come into focus

That I can somehow find some glimmer of goodness

Come from it

And in the highest hopes

I pray that it be full of love

Full of light for me to see ever so clearly

And I wish everyone else the exact same

I hope your hearts opens so wide

It feels almost if it's going to burst

But it hurts so good