We have to realize
Or begin to realize
That we pick the situations we fall into
A lot of them
For a reason
To "fix" some past trauma
To "fix" a situation once and for all
It all harkens back to our childhood
And our self esteem issues
Some say even past lives
The book lays it out in plain English.
If you make bad decisions
Especially with partner situations
Read it
And really get to know yourself
If you want the chaos
Fine
But at least be aware of your complicity
And subconscious desires
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Divorce is hell
Musings on getting divorced
I can say that most peoples reasons for getting divorced
barring mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse
are bad
but then again
most peoples reasons for getting married generally are pretty bad too
so what hope is there really? lol
So... I can only speak from my own experience
Is marriage difficult?
Hell yes
but divorce reigns upon you a special form of torture
and it's like having kids
It really isn't explainable
You genuinely have to go through it yourself
to completely get it
Even still.
Now that I'm getting over the resentment
The anger. The pain
The heartache and disappointment
Be it ever so slowly
In equal proportion the care I felt for him in the first place
comes back
Maybe more cautiously
With boundaries and caution tape everywhere
But it's there
And it makes me realize
That you go through the expense and trouble of getting married for a reason
What at the time you thought was good enough reason to
Just because time passes and feelings sometimes change
Does it mean it's a bad reason now?
It just means you need to adjust your reasons maybe
As you adjust. As you grow
So must your love adapt
Let them not be like my needed adaptations though.
In cyclical waves of mass fury
or lulls of massive depression
If you can avoid that.
Maybe it's worth considering if you've got a good thing after all?
Don't take into account always what you don't have
Be grateful and satisfied with what you do have
As long as you have the basic necessities*
And love (respect/compassion) given and received
What else is needed in life?
*which will be as individual as a person or a snowflake (I don't care what scientist say).
I can say that most peoples reasons for getting divorced
barring mental, physical, emotional and financial abuse
are bad
but then again
most peoples reasons for getting married generally are pretty bad too
so what hope is there really? lol
So... I can only speak from my own experience
Is marriage difficult?
Hell yes
but divorce reigns upon you a special form of torture
and it's like having kids
It really isn't explainable
You genuinely have to go through it yourself
to completely get it
Even still.
Now that I'm getting over the resentment
The anger. The pain
The heartache and disappointment
Be it ever so slowly
In equal proportion the care I felt for him in the first place
comes back
Maybe more cautiously
With boundaries and caution tape everywhere
But it's there
And it makes me realize
That you go through the expense and trouble of getting married for a reason
What at the time you thought was good enough reason to
Just because time passes and feelings sometimes change
Does it mean it's a bad reason now?
It just means you need to adjust your reasons maybe
As you adjust. As you grow
So must your love adapt
Let them not be like my needed adaptations though.
In cyclical waves of mass fury
or lulls of massive depression
If you can avoid that.
Maybe it's worth considering if you've got a good thing after all?
Don't take into account always what you don't have
Be grateful and satisfied with what you do have
As long as you have the basic necessities*
And love (respect/compassion) given and received
What else is needed in life?
*which will be as individual as a person or a snowflake (I don't care what scientist say).
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