Longing for the miracle of ease

On paper I've had a hard life

In reality though

I try to see the bright side of it all

And be grateful for where I am

Who I am

The blessings I do have

And to see and understand that those bad things are part of a whole

They are not the whole themselves

And traumatic as some may have been

And as much as they still may be affecting me

Deep within my psyche

In ways I may not consciously comprehend

Or anticipate

I keep going

I keep positive

Sometimes struggling

Especially as of late

Seeing the darkness

And the light

Not as if two juxtaposed items

But as fluid states

As in standing at dusk/daybreak

Seeing the sun on one horizon

And darkness on another

Never quite fully sure exactly where one ends and one begins

Enjoying the light; while trying not to fixate too much on maintaining it

And navigating myself as safely & compassionately as I can until the darkness leaves once again

But I'd like so much

The miracle of complete inner peace

And that seems in today's society

Indeed quite a miracle

Almost as if we aren't even allowed to contemplate it

As if it didn't really exist

As if we were destined to always be like little babies

Reactive to every desire and distress

And only at peace when asleep or satiated of every need we can wrap our tiny brains around

Wah wah wah

Cries every person always

Me me me

Satisfy my desire

Satisfy my need

Satisfy me

But what if the real trick was to be happy

Regardless

Who could take that away from you?

If you harbor that happiness

That peace

Deep inside

There would be no way to ever take it from you

Without your permission or giving it by choice

Would there?

Rant #1

The world is a so beautiful and could be so magical. But it's run by idiots, trying to control other idiots, trying to outdo each other for top idiocy. What's it going to take for people to wake the fuck up?  None of this bullshit is real!!  None of it matters.

There are more than enough resources on this earth to feed, clothe, house every person. Humanity is so inhumane!

If people weren't so greedy, ignorant and wasteful.  If corporations weren't laying it all to waste. If wars of hatred and pillaging weren't always being waged. It's gone so far for so long. It's going to take a movement that really changes people from the inside out. Opens their hearts. Makes them see that love is the way. And that.......that alone would be the miracle of all miracles. Jesus today would be killed before he could give his first prayer.

The world is overrun with corruption, hatred (lack of empathy) and power run amok. I'm not sure it can be swung the other way. Then add to that; that Mother Nature hates us for good reason. If we don't kill ourselves she has the full right to spray us all like the roaches we are.

I have sympathy for people. One on one. But as a whole we are putrid, despicable, self-indulgent bastards.

If I were God. I would not purposely send a "savior" to this forsaken planet. I'd let it annihilate itself.

Even if someone were sent. The people in power would do everything they could to stop them. Everything.

The status quo must go on.

Not only this, but the people themselves. The ones being manipulated and controlled also would not want it. They don't want to wake up. They want the comfort of the make believe. The comfort that only truly exists in their minds.

They want to remove themselves from the atrocities of the world. Living in cozy little dwelling, ensconced as far away from the fray as they can. The havoc of reality.

I at least know it exists. I see behind the curtain. But it makes me no better. I do nothing really. I try to help the people I can. I try to do what I can when I see the need. It isn't enough. It will never be enough. But I have my children. Always in the forefront of my mind. I give my life to them and try in whatever small ways I can to show them to be brave against the tyranny of the world; to be themselves against the constant brainwashing. It's probably useless; but I will continue to push back where I can. How I can. Until the day I die.

It's a war waged from the top trickling down to right here. Right now. Our so called freedoms. Our so called rights. Almost all gone. We just have the appearance of freedoms which all to easily reveals itself.

I know this.

We have the freedom to be slaves to the top percenters, the governments, the corporations. The worst part is how easily the media, police and military do their bidding.

I make no excuses for any of it; yet I am a pacifist at heart. That said though; I stand up for myself and others when I need to, as I need to. As I can.

I can't succumb to hatred. And yet I can't let myself succumb to giving up either or to losing hope.

Why?

Because my hatred in retaliation would be no better than theirs; and because a life lived in despair is no life at all.

So. I must find the silver lining; seek the rainbows. I must praise the good, the strong, the morally incorruptible, those that stand for truth against all odds, those that take a stand no matter how small or to what sacrifice. I give thanks for those people, the people on the frontline of the true battle being waged. The battle of hatred versus love.

Come on people and just pick a side. Take off the blinders of your own complacency. Stop giving excuses for being a hypocrite and/or coward.  Be who you came here to be.

May you stand in peace and the light and love of God or may you be a worthy opponent to those that do. Let Judas not be you're claim to fame.

It's the lying that kills. I'd rather stand before my worst enemy as equals in battle then before a traitor seeking to give their last kiss.

Practice no more lies. If everyone just did that. The world would change miraculously. It would have no choice really. It may all come tumbling down at first. The facades that we've built up for so long would have to cave in. But it would all be built back again. Better. Stronger. More beautifully. More true.

Honor lies in the truth.

Peace lies in the truth.

The cost of the truth pays for itself tenfold...

In due time.

Truth is not a commodity to be bartered, sold, hidden or skewed. The truth stands alone. The truth knows no shame.  The truth does not fear. The truth does not seek approval.  The truth has its own merit far above all other virtues except perhaps: compassion and fortitude.

May the truth set you free.