Awkward

I'm an empath

I can't help it

This does however tend to have me close off to people

Purposely sometimes

To avoid their aura's

That's something I need to learn to manage

If I want to live an open life

Like I say I do

The issue is that

While my IQ is high

I have a delay in my head sometimes of hours

Before I can fully process something in order to develop a cohesive response

Just sometimes

And usually not even in the very sciency and what have you; complex things

And also sometimes people aren't making sense

They say one thing with their mouth

And another with their body

I've learned to favor the body

Which normally speaks the truth

As opposed to whatever individual percentage the mouth in question seems to have

But people can find their own stories quite convincing

Which makes the rue all the more perplexing

Making it a conundrum sometimes who to follow and respond to

Most people want to hear a response based upon.  Their word.

As if it were indeed gospel

So I find it hard sometimes to start there

Or anywhere

That there are lies

Deep dark places

I saw my 4 year old

She was sitting on her fathers lap

He was outstretched on the floor on his stomach

She sat backwards

And with her palm softy held half palmed

She was lightly tapping on his penis.

He was wearing soft basketball type shorts

The sight and thought bothered me

And I moved her hands away from him

Which then made her think she had done something wrong

Not on a conscience level

I didn't see any reaction from that at least

So now

Could I have done more harm than good?


*************

Once you've lived in a world of deep dark places

You can't unlive it

It marks you for life

That's why I try so desperately to live in the moment

Giving light and the benefit of the doubt

To everything and all things

And if not.

Not worrying about it too much

Don't get me wrong

I will always stand up for those oppressed

Those taken advantage of

Those without a voice of their own (literally and figuratively)

Always

But sometimes I still let the past seep in

Or the future (worries) in to play too

And that's always trouble

Or at least so it seems to be

And that's good enough for me

To try at least

To live in bliss this moment

This moment that I can