Faking it

Sometimes I still feel like I’m faking it

And then I realize

I’m really not

It’s just that some days it takes more effort than others

But I’m still me

And I have the way I do things

The way I think

My general responses....which

Are within a spectrum I find enjoyable

Genuine

And acceptable upon inspection; generally speaking

Enough so that it makes me feel I don’t need to worry

But then again; I don’t want to become complacent either

And just believe I am a good person

Without actually being one

Simply because I want it to be so

I know I still have work to do

I still could improve

So I have compassion for myself as I struggle sometimes

And also I have a desire to have more depth

To be the best and most sincere version of me I can be

With my heart above my head

With kindness above obliviousness

With giving above receiving

And love above judgment

It’s a work in progress

I am a work in progress

And I’m thankful

To have something to focus on right now

besides the sadness

That has been engulfing me a bit lately

Sick of the psycho-babble

everyone seems to know all the labels

The current buzzwords

Manic depressive

Bi-polar

Toxic

Manic

OCD

Anxiety disorder

All these labels and excuses for what?

For writing people off?

To feel sorry for them?

To sub-categorize them as humans?

People are more complex than a bunch of formulaic bullshit labels paint them to be

I get so sick of hearing people referred to that way

If you are not a real and imminent threat to yourself or others

Then go forth and be merry

Who gives a flying fuck what people think or label you as

You are worthy

And to all the self righteous assholes

Who think they have it figured out

Lol

You make me laugh

You got a full life ahead of you

Let’s see what fate you suffer

Let’s see if anyone would label you toxic

Or some other idiotic psychoanalytic misnomer

I’m sure someone somewhere will

And they may not be far off the mark

But you’d have to have compassion to see that that’s ok too

Not just for yourself

But for others

We are not dumb labels

We are not our pasts or our future

We are the now

I’ve had people that had full intentions of harming me

Practically save my life

This life

This grand mechanism of cosmic soup

It’s too fucking mesmerizing for your stupid ass labels.

I wish people would just stop.

Just fucking let things be

And enjoy the fuck out of what you are presented with

And strive for more if that’s your methodology

Of getting through this game

But me.....

I just want to be