Not impressed with myself

maybe it could be seen as humility

Maybe a step below that

But some days I feel great.

I am happy and then

I start to gloat a tiny bit

Or get excessively happy about an accomplishment

Even if minor

And then slam

Out comes this self-depreciation

I’m not that great

Don’t get me wrong

I firmly believe I am no worse and no better than anyone else

If we each stepped into each other’s shoes I think we would see

There really is no extra wiggle room for judgment in there

But I suffer

I cry

I make mistakes

I behave inappropriately

I sulk

I whine

I bray

I’m human

I have the full range of emotions and thoughts

It is part of the human flux

I just go with it now

Let myself be who I am

And some days

Maybe most

It is not perfect

But it doesn’t mean life still can’t be pretty darn great

Right?

Yep

I firmly believe that

Now give me a hot minute to get over this heartbreak

And I’m sure I’ll be feeling it again

Right quick

———

OMG. I’m not being facetious.  Who doesn’t love country folk?   I would go on that country matchmaking website if I didn’t think it was way too ballsy. I might just get that desperate though. Lol. I guess we’ll see.

Holding no judgment

I come from the stance that

“Thank God i don’t have that job”

I don’t want to judge people

That would be exhausting

And what if I’m wrong?

I don’t want that on my conscience

Even when people ask me to judge them

I sometimes hesitate

And yet I can sense that people feel judged by me

Because I do like to take people in

I like to see who they are

What they say

How they say it

Their stance

Their energy

Their movements

Like the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland

I like to see “who are you?”

And to me the true testament to my not judging them

Is that it isn’t until later

Upon further pondering

That I can gauge how I felt about them on a personal level

And put my own thoughts into the equation

But...

Typically I never have to revisit and ask myself that

So I can generally just take someone in and be like

Wow

Ok

That’s you

Cool

And come from a place of acceptance to whoever that is

And not attach any value to it

Good or bad

The only time I force myself to attach value to people

Is when I must decide if I want to continue to see them

And interact with them

And then in that case I do lend myself to the task of judging

Not so much the person per se

More so I judge whether I want to expend any more time and energy on this person

That is my one judgement I guess

But that seems benign

When we talk about the normal judgment people tend to think of

When one says

Judgment.

Or at least that’s what I tell myself. Lol