I'm trying

I'm trying to believe

Against almost all standards of belief

That God is always there for me

200% of the time (infinitesimally really)

Like Jesus

Buddha

Joan of Arc

Mother Teresa (as much as she could; we all make some mistakes). She's  One of the closest things we have to angels on earth or saints (as the Catholics call the best of them supposedly).

But it is hard

I can see why so few succeed at that

It is a moment by moment push up a hill rolling a boulder straight up it

And then holding on for dear life in the way down

And all the while trying to maintain your heart and mind open

Trying to take it all in

To love the grand experience of it all

No matter what the situation

No matter how big or how small

No matter in what capacity

Full throttle

Or broken up a little

Or a lot

To license it all

The same

All of it

To trust it is meant just excusively for you

That you can transcend it all

And get to heaven

Heaven in every moment

And heaven in every hell

That God is here with you

To uplift you

At every moment

Up until even your last breath

God is there to take you home

And home

Is where we all want to be

Desperately long to be

And that home

Is right in our hearts

We carry it with us

How much easier is that?

How much better can that get?

We carry unconditional never-ending supplies of love

Right in here

And as long as that heart beats you can see it here on earth

And after it stops beating

You meet up with the original and complete version in heaven

Consider earth a combination of like a 10.0 version of heaven mixed up with Sims

You can be in heaven

Happy as can be

Or you can be in misery

The great thing about my version

The version I interpret from my God

Is that we can have that full upgraded version happiness

That experience that we will get to be as close as heaven as possible

Whenever we want

As long as we chose to believe

Would you rather live 10 minutes of heaven

Or ten years of hell?

I'll ask you again on your deathbed and we can revisit that one again and you will maybe much more clearly see things. Most old people see things pretty clearly except for that deep sense of fear (poor things).  At what age, if ever, is one allowed to lose that? NEVER!  Society isn't built to support your happiness. It's built to support your fears. The media. School. A lot of it is propaganda and I wish we all stopped playing along. If you just stop. Listen. Truly listen to people's stories. You'd see. Deep down. We are all the same. Longing for love. Longing to be deeply understood. Wanting community. Wanting to be loved AND to love (even more important probably).