Confuzicated Sometimes

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by life

Because I can see so many angles to things 

And yet know

That there are even more I don't see

Things outside my sphere of understanding 

That are directly affecting my life 

That I am oblivious to

Not by choice of course

But because there's a complexity to living in a world full of other beings

With free will, karma/happenstance all intermixed

With divine intervention, ill will and bad mojo as distinct add ons 

All thrown into a cacophony of seemingly utter nonsense

Simply because I can't grasp the nuances

I can't see all the players

Their motives

Their actions

Their deepest desires

And secret agendas

And that's just on this one plane of existence 

How mind boggling is it to imagine on top of all that

Other worlds intercepting with ours?

Causing their own wave of consequences

It's too much for one mind to bare

Isn't it?

Better to live in happy oblivion 

To forgive those deemed unforgivable 

To give as much as we can

when it has been called upon us to do so

To brave this life

With our head valiantly held high

A smile of compassion for ourselves

And everyone else we meet

That's my goal

That's lofty enough

Because truly

I don't think I'll ever grasp it all completely 

But maybe I can learn to love it

To enjoy the ride

No matter where this wild adventure takes me

All of it

Just the same

Because I know at the end

It will all become known

As I travel to the next realm it will all be understood

I know this to be completely true 

(Although I am hoping it will happen in this life; while still in human form)

But regardless 

what is there to do but enjoy the madness

That this world is

The topsy turvy lies and all

I try to hit the opt out button as much as I can

I really do

It's not enough I'm sure. 

Sometimes it feels like living secluded in a remote island is the only true way. 

But this is currently the best I can do

And I know God is good with that

So why shouldn't I be as well

Really

So........

Dear confuzicating life:

Let the chaos 

bring me peace

Let the disappointments

Bring me acceptance

Let the petty annoyances

Bring me a wave of compassion

Let the self aggravation

Bring me self acceptance

Let the stresses

Bring me solace

Let the longing 

Bring me cheer

Let the hurt

Bring me closeness

Let the anxiety

Bring me vulnerability and openness

Let the distress

Bring me lightness

Because at the end of the day

It's all part of the human experience

Of living

Good

Bad

Painful

Exhilarating 

Petrifying

Mesmerizing 

It's all part of the miracle

And whether we asked for it or not

Here it is

So what is there to do

But relish it

Soak ourselves deep into its womb

And learn from it what we can

Give to it what we can

Show up!

Show up for it all

Every moment

With every breath we take

Because it can be beautiful

If we chose to see it that way

God......

May I always be able to see it that way.