Hardest thing

The hardest thing in life

For me

Has been trying to live outside the realm of fear

And outside the incarceration of hatred

It is by far the most difficult path to tread in life

Because it is constantly reinforced in us to fear

To distrust

To hate

Maybe sometimes out of good intentions

Maybe sometimes rightfully so

But I'd venture to say.

Mostly it isn't

Mostly it's at the cost of our very souls

At the cost of our own freedoms

And happiness

So I fight

This mostly inner battle

Waged against the very world

And.....

What I have learned is that

If I fight it with hope

With love

With kindness

With openness

With acceptance

With trust in God

With trust in myself

And my own instincts

And the cosmic forces of the universe

It opens up a path

That is much easier

Which feels good

Which feels comforting and righteous

Not in a holier than though way

But in a Godly way

Is it easy?

Hell no

Mostly not

Sometimes yes

I'm not sure what it takes

Some say...change your inner dialogue

"Tell yourself it's easy"

Maybe the more you do it

The more ingrained it becomes

Maybe it is always a struggle

Here's where a mentor would come in handy

But I consider myself a religion of one

And I'm not about to latch on to anything that doesn't resonate with my heart

Or anything that doesn't resonate within my soul

It is my quest

Has my path been circuitous?

Quite so

Yes

Has it been full of errors and pitfalls

Lessons of the pain endured from not listening to my heart

Yes

Yes it has

But I hope to have many many more years

To keep at it

To keep searching for Nirvana

Wherever I may find it

Within

Without

Inside

Outside

In light

As well as dark

May it come

May I be open to it

May I feel it

Understand it

Live it

Every possible moment I can